Journey of my Knowing

It is been almost 20 years, and I have been impacted by mental health. I want to see back how I was as a human, and how I have evolved now. Lots of improvement in my mental health. Able to communicate, understand well, and respond well. I met Mary in college, I was in love with her, she was a silent and calm person, I am in love with her I don't know to express my love.  Every day I come to college by cycle, and she walks opposite me in the corridor I see the beauty in her, even though she has the glance, I believe that she is in love with me. 3rd year of my college, there was a cricket match with college department teams, I was bowling the first over everyone is making fun of me, and criticizing my bowling, I make more wide balls, fortunately, I bowled well everyone appreciated my bowling. I assumed Mary could have been aware of superb bowling in the matches she saw me with a big smile today, and my assumption about love between us increased more. Completed 3rd-year ex...

Have you hugged your child?, your wife?, or your mother?, How much do you feel love in that hug? When a playing child fell and got severely injured mother will bring the child close to her and hugs them, and the child immediately stops the cry and starts playing.  The love between partners when they miss each other when they meet after a long time hug between them shows how much they missed in their life.  Why the hug is so powerful and natural? If The man was missing the hug with his child and partner for a long time. He was longing for a long time he was not able to express it, he remembers while others hug their partners and child.  Sometimes he has a mother to hug. He felt so precious when he hugs his mother. But he sees the difference between the hug,  Hugs between a mother, hugs between a child, and hugs between a partner, are huge differences and differences in love.  Differed from person to close one, person to a child, and person to friend....

Loneliness, I was left alone I don't know how to spend my time, sometimes I feel my loneliness is a curse, my age is 42, I was married, but I don't have the kid with me some time he talks to some time he is busy with his problem. My mother is innocent, she is living with me she has her problem in her life. How do I overcome the loneliness? It is a question many times I have; I used to write what I feel as I do now, I use to paint; sometimes I feel like arguing with my son and wife. I think they are the reason for my loneliness, I think they are not ready to live with me so I need to fight, I have asked for a divorce nothing is happening. It is their problem? Or my loneliness, am I not able to make friends? Or am I feeling scared to make friends, I lost around 40 lakhs for making new friends, and my old friend wanted me to invest in his company so I am not ready to. I am seeing many traps in front of me. and to spend time happily with so many problems I need to go th...

Today is Ganesh Chaturthi, it is a celebration in India, we keep Lord Vinayaga as a stone and worship them in our home, I love the lord Ganesha, somehow I become fond of the lord Ganesha, I worship daily also, my parents and elders said he is the first formation of God, from that in I believe to worship him. Many parts of the Indian country worship Ganesh.  My understanding of lord Ganesha, elephant face, and human form. The elephant is the most intelligent animal, the character is very calm, and loveable they live together as a family, and are very strong and kind animals. There is a story for how Ganesha is formed and if we google mostly we get the answer for them. What I feel is the form of Ganesha is most respected by everyone including me. If we get the character of the Elephant and the quality of the human then we are the most respected species on Earth, isn't it? Jai Ganesh Saranam...!

I write based on my learnings, whether it is hurting or good, and all the problems I solve myself, nature has given me the ability to handle myself, sounds interesting right? the morning I woke up and went for a walk with a lazy mind slowly I overcome after a 4 km walk. My body is brisk but my mind feels dull. I was checking what is my problem with my mind and realized that I don't have a partner for me I was longing for a loved one to talk to, and care for, my mother is with me but I am not able to appreciate my mother, I took bath and went for prayer after my sincere prayer what I saw as a problem are melted in my prayer, what I think is common for every human but we need to surrender to our problem to whom you worship, I can't immediately change anything now and I need to accept as it is. My sincere prayer made my thoughts more evolved I started caring for my mother, instead worrying about what I don't have rather accept my problem and slowly I feel love for ...

I use to think my problems are big in my life, no partner is living with me, and my son is loving me but I am not able to express my love to him. when talking with my friends they share their problems are equally big, when seeing every problem from our angle all issues might seem big isn't it? When we can come out of the problem then the magnitude of any problem might seem less, at least we think problems in every life are inevitable we start accepting our problems as it is. I remember the best quote for overcoming our problem is "let go". Problems in everyone's life are inevitable and we need to "accept them". In another discussion we have regarding the female need for a partner to share their feelings, I can agree with that point, that sharing their views is not happening to both men and women. if both genders are not ready to accept the fact that our partners are not trustworthy it is better to stay alone and better to get prepared for living ...

Man is playing the drum and reciting the chant about the goddess, the chant is a melody for him, and he is enjoying the music of the drums and chant, as he expresses his love and devotion to the goddess he was feeling joy, as he recites the music he has question raised from his heart, he asks himself, who need to enjoy this recitation, as a player I plays to the music as an observer I listen to the music both the state of expression is blissful within me, the question comes me to whom I need to express it or whom should approve the blissful state when the observer within acknowledges the authentic joy.